Dating can be exciting and full of possibility, but what happens when the person you're dating turns out to be someone entirely different from who you thought they were? Narcissistic behavior in relationships can be confusing and emotionally draining. While the term “narcissist” is often thrown around, it’s important to recognize when someone may genuinely exhibit narcissistic traits that can impact your mental and emotional well-being.
So, how do you know if you’re dating a narcissist? Here are 10 signs to help you identify whether your partner may have narcissistic tendencies.
They Make Everything About Themselves
One of the hallmarks of narcissism is an exaggerated sense of self-importance. If your partner constantly dominates conversations, only talks about their achievements, and rarely shows interest in your thoughts or feelings, this could be a red flag. Narcissists often crave attention and need to be the center of it at all times.
Lack of Empathy
Narcissists struggle to put themselves in other people’s shoes. If your partner dismisses your emotions, fails to show compassion when you're upset, or seems indifferent to your needs, it could signal a lack of empathy. This emotional disconnect often leaves their partner feeling unsupported or unimportant.
They’re Charming—But Only at First
Narcissists are often incredibly charming when you first meet them. They may shower you with affection, compliments, and attention, making you feel like the most important person in the world. But once they’ve “won” you over, the charm can fade, and their true nature begins to surface. This pattern, often referred to as “love bombing,” is a common tactic used by narcissists to draw people in before revealing their manipulative tendencies.
They Have an Inflated Sense of Entitlement
Does your partner expect special treatment, even when it’s undeserved? Narcissists believe they are superior to others and expect people to cater to their needs. If your partner regularly expects you (or others) to go out of your way for them while offering little in return, they may have a sense of entitlement typical of narcissism.
They’re Quick to Blame Others
Narcissists are rarely willing to admit fault. If something goes wrong, they’re quick to point fingers, often blaming you or external factors for their mistakes. This refusal to take responsibility can leave you feeling guilty or responsible for things that aren’t your fault, further feeding the toxic dynamic.
They Play the Victim
Surprisingly, narcissists often flip the script and portray themselves as the victim. Whether it’s in past relationships, friendships, or work scenarios, they’ll tell you stories of how others have wronged them. This tactic helps them gain sympathy and avoid accountability for their own bad behavior.
Constant Need for Validation
Narcissists have a fragile ego beneath their grandiosity. They constantly seek praise and validation from others to boost their self-esteem. If your partner is always fishing for compliments, craves external validation, or seems overly focused on how others perceive them, this could be a sign of narcissism.
They Gaslight You
Gaslighting is a common manipulation tactic used by narcissists to control their partners. It involves making you question your reality by denying things they said or did, blaming you for their actions, or minimizing your feelings. Over time, this can cause you to doubt your memory, instincts, and sense of self.
They Have Trouble Maintaining Relationships
If your partner has a history of unstable or short-lived relationships, whether romantic, platonic, or professional, this could be a warning sign. Narcissists struggle with maintaining healthy connections because their behavior eventually drives people away. They may blame others for the fallout and refuse to see their role in the relationship breakdown.
They Use You for Their Own Gain
Narcissists are often opportunistic in relationships. Whether it’s money, status, or emotional support, they may use you to fulfill their own needs without regard for your well-being. Once they’ve gotten what they want, they may become emotionally distant or discard you altogether.
What to Do if You’re Dating a Narcissist
If some (or all) of these signs resonate with you, it may be time to evaluate your relationship and its impact on your mental health. Here are a few steps you can take:
-Consider Walking Away: Narcissistic behavior rarely changes, and staying in a toxic relationship can take a toll on your self-esteem. If your partner refuses to acknowledge their behavior or get help, it may be healthier to leave the relationship.
-Set Boundaries: Narcissists thrive on pushing limits. Establish firm boundaries and communicate your needs clearly.
-Seek Support: Narcissistic relationships can leave you feeling isolated. Talk to trusted friends or a therapist who can provide guidance and perspective.
Final Thoughts
Dating a narcissist can be emotionally draining and damaging to your self-worth. Recognizing the signs early on is key to protecting yourself from further harm. Remember, you deserve a partner who values and respects you. If your relationship is dominated by manipulation, lack of empathy, and self-centered behavior, it might be time to reassess whether this person is truly right for you.
By staying aware of these red flags and seeking support when needed, you can reclaim your sense of self and build healthier, more fulfilling relationships in the future. -Tracylynne
About the Author:
Tracylynne is a talented Digital Artist and Photographer with a rich background in television and entertainment. Her impressive career comprises of projects with major networks and studios as a Producer, Set Photographer and Brand Manager, including a notable 7-year tenure at The Oprah Winfrey Show. Support her artistry here: Portraits by Tracylynne